I’m generally not super freaked out about my weight. I admit, this is in part because I’m lucky enough to naturally not be fat without too much effort. Even if I were fat, if I were actually healthy I probably wouldn’t worry so much.
The problem is that I’m not healthy. I have far too many health problems to be overly worried about my weight when my weight isn’t one.
I had gained about 20 pounds over the year before I got pregnant that I was a touch worried about, but mostly I was annoyed that some of my favorite clothes didn’t fit me. It wasn’t enough that I felt the need to go on a diet or anything like that.
During the pregnancy, I didn’t worry too much about my weight as long as it was healthy. I worried when I gained way too much in a short period of time, but I also worried when I didn’t gain anything for a month in the second trimester. I ate healthy because I was worried about my and the baby’s health. I exercised because I wanted to be in the best shape I could be to handle birth. Overall I gained a fairly healthy amount of weight. Afterwards, I lost most of it in the first 2 weeks.
I’ve since gained it back- I don’t know exactly how much I weigh because we don’t own a scale and I haven’t seen a doctor since the 6 week checkup (I can’t remember if I checked my weight then- if I did, I don’t remember what it was), but I’ve gotten bigger.
This time I am worried, in part because of just how much, but also because the reason is that I’ve been eating so unhealthily. It’s kind of the side effect of having a baby, especially a colicky baby. You get so exhausted that you’re not up to cooking and suddenly McDonald’s multiple times a day doesn’t sound like such a bad idea. With my joint problems, which birth greatly exacerbated, it’s also been very difficult to exercise.
So I’m actually going to make an effort to try and get back to a healthier weight.