Existence

I’d been thinking about starting this blog for months. Since before the baby that is now happily lying in my lap was ever conceived, actually. I spent most of the pregnancy going back and forth about whether or not to make it, and I’m still not convinced it’s a good idea. But I want people to know that people like us exist, and while I value my (and our) privacy, I know that the only way that anyone can know we exist is if some of us share the information.

The final tipping point was reading yet another quip about how everyone was birthed by a woman. It’s an understandable idea, a simple over-generalization. It grates on me, though, as it does many people who aren’t women and either have given birth or may one day do so. Generally I’ll ignore it, though, because for the vast majority of the time it’s accurate. I don’t expect people to stop saying it, even people who are aware it’s not true. Then I looked down at the little one snuggled in my arms, and knew that I really didn’t want to ignore it today.

This beautiful baby was begotten by neither man nor woman, something that will make our life and theirs complicated in the years to come.  This baby is not alone in the small quirk of having been birthed by a person who is not a woman or having been “fathered” (horribly inaccurate term, but I can’t think of a more accurate one) by a person who is not a man. Many trans people have children. Though it’s more common for trans people to have children before coming out, more are having them even after transitioning. The hullabaloo about Thomas Beatie being the “first pregnant man”? Well, not exactly. He wasn’t the first man to give birth, he wasn’t even the first man to give birth after transition, he was just the first to be so public about it.

As I said, I don’t expect people to stop saying that “everyone” was birthed by a woman, or stop referring to everyone who’s given birth or been pregnant as a “woman”- even people who are aware it isn’t true. It would be nice for the rest of us to be more acknowledged, but it’s a simple over-generalization given how often it’s accurate. But more people need to be aware that it actually isn’t true, that it’s only a simple over-generalization, and that beautiful, precious little babies like the one who slept quite comfortably through the creation of this post exist and will continue to be brought into this world.

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